Jerry Sandusky and The Wax Man

Opinion Piece by a Clinically Trained Psychotherapist

By Spero Alexio

A Smiling Wax Man

It was a hesitation that spoke volumes. During a phone interview broadcast on NBC, Bob Costas asked former Penn State football coach Jerry Sandusky if he was sexually attracted to underage boys. For a few seconds the question lingered in the air as the former Penn State football coach formulated his answer. For many listening, that uncomfortable silence brought a nauseating feeling that something sexual had happened between Sandusky and his accusers.

In that moment, before speaking, was a battle raging in the twisted psyche of accused pedophile Jerry Sandusky? Were the remnants of Sandusky humanity making a futile attempt to assert themselves, to somehow explain the unexplainable- how the secrets of his childhood grew into impulses he couldn’t control, how he became a smiling monster who preyed upon the innocent, how he hated himself for all these years?

When he finally spoke, there was no admission of guilt, only a disjointed response by a man hoping he could defend and deflect his way out of trouble. Sandusky answered, "Am I sexually attracted to underage boys … sexually attracted? You know … no, I enjoy young people … I love to be around them. Umm, I, no … I'm not sexually attracted to young boys."

Sandusky has been indicted for 40 counts of child sex abuse involving eight victims over the course of 15 years.  The Grand Jury outlines in agonizing detail the circumstances and history of Sandusky reign of sexual terror.

From the Grand Jury Report:  During the course of the multi-year investigation, the Grand Jury heard evidence that Sandusky indecently fondled Victim 1 on a number of occasions, performed oral sex on Victim 1 on a number of occasions and had Victim 1 perform oral sex on him on at least one occasion.

In 2008, accuser No. 1 told his mother that Sandusky, then a full-time volunteer coach at the boy’s high school, sexually abused him repeatedly. The boy’s mother contacted the school and insisted they “call the police right now.” The principal, a man, initially refused and told the mother that Sandusky “has a heart of gold.”

How could a man with a ‘heart of gold’ also have the hands of a pedophile? This question bewildered many adults who heard rumors about Sandusky, but chose to turn a blind eye to his activities. They couldn’t accept that the man who created Second Mile, a charity dedicated to the welfare of underprivileged boys, could also be a sex offender. The two seem incongruous until one considers that pedophiles are often masters of disguise. They will present themselves as profoundly interested in young people; have sleepovers, field trips and spend inordinate amounts of time mentoring children. Jerry Sandusky was hiding in plain sight, cloaked only in the respectability he carefully constructed and perpetuated for one reason- to guarantee him a steady supply of boys.

From the Grand Jury Report:  Widely known as Jerry Sandusky, the subject of this investigation founded The Second Mile, a charity initially devoted to helping troubled young boys. It was within the Second Mile program that Sandusky found his victims.

 No, Jerry Sandusky doesn’t have a heart of gold. He has a heart that is rusted metal, pock marked by deceit and corroded by the bile of his betrayals. Sandusky’s affection for young boys, what he thought of as love, has always been in the service of and motivated by his sexual needs. The Grand Jury report cites numerous examples of Jerry Sandusky tickling, touching, squeezing and fondling young boys.  He presented the façade of caring man. Yet underneath that mask of respectability was the face of a pedophile.

My own brush with pedophilia occurred nearly forty years ago. I was a thirteen years old boy, riding a packed Q10 public bus along Woodhaven Boulevard on my way home from school. Standing next to me in the crowded bus was a man in his forties, pudgy faced, expressionless. There was a light sheen of perspiration on his face giving him a waxy pallor. I only noticed him because of his closeness to me. The first time the back of his hand grazed the front of my Levis jeans I didn’t think much of it. I attributed the contact to being on an overcrowded bus. I glanced up at the man who stood next to me, his face impassive, his eyes focused out the window. He looked like a wax man.

It must have been an accident I reasoned. But then a minute or two later his hand was back. This time it lingered against my crotch for a few seconds. I knew immediately that something was going on and whatever it was -it wasn’t accidental. I turned away, but had little room to move. Again I looked at the man standing beside me. He continued to stare out the window as if in a trance and seemed oblivious to what his hand was doing. My heart began beating faster, my attention heightened as I tried to make sense of what was happening. Once again his hand found me, but could only brush harmlessly against my hip. At that point I bolted through the throng of passengers and put some distance between myself and the wax man.  I never saw him again and never spoke to anyone about what had happened.

In those days there was little in the way of public education about pedophilia. However the blue collar neighborhood of Woodhaven, Queens provided an urban legend where I found solace.  The story followed a variety of narratives depending on the teller’s imagination, but always contained the central character of Chester the Molester.  Sometimes we’d hear that Chester prowled the streets at night looking for wayward boys. Other times the story might have Chester coming through a bedroom window or driving a dark sedan in the hope of luring boys into the back seat. The storylines varied, but the end result was always the same- Chester the Molester was going to molest you.

After getting off the bus, I was still confused about what had happened. I wondered if the wax man was really Chester the Molester. Had I come face to face with an urban legend? Although there were plenty of stories about Chester, no one ever claimed to have met him...accept perhaps for me.

From the Grand Jury Report:  F.A. was uncomfortable when Sandusky did this and moved his leg to try to avoid the contact. Sandusky would keep his hand on F.A.’s knee even after F.A. tried to move it. F.A. did not like the contact.

Children intuitively know the difference between a loving touch and a touch that’s charged with sexuality. They will often report feeling uncomfortable and describe the offender’s attention as ‘creepy.’ By all accounts, Sandusky creeped out a lot of kids and those are the ones he didn’t get around to abusing. My brief encounter with the wax man pales in comparison to the sexual assaults Sandusky is accused of. For years his hands sought the next victim, while his heart was nowhere to be found.

Friday June 22, 2012:  As twilight settled on the court house, word came of Jerry Sandusky's conviction on 45 of 48 counts charging him with sexual abuse against 10 boys over a 15-year period. Cheers erupted from the crowd outside the courthouse- like spectators at a peculiar sporting event where no one wins. Yet, who could blame the crowd and everyone else watching on TV for breathing a collective sigh of relief.  Good had finally triumphed over evil; the world was a safe place once again. The other Jerry Sanduskys out there would like you to believe that.

Spero Alexio MSW is a psychotherapist and researcher in the field of addictive illness. His areas of expertise are the dynamics of chronic relapse and sex addiction.  Mr. Alexio lives in Las Vegas and may be contacted at QTherapy@ymail.com.